Lifestyle

Breaking News: UC Santa Cruz Banana Slugs Forfeit Season

The picture you’re about to see was sent to us late last night from an anonymous tipster. It’s disappointing to see proof of this kind of activity going on during the season – I’m glad I don’t have teammates like this. It’s a sad day for Banana Slugs around the country.

 

Won’t somebody please think of the children?
Word is this Slug got booted from the team after they raided his dorm room and found a huge stash of Banana-rama wacky tobbaco along with some uppers, downers, flim flams, whatzitdoodles, a garbage can of Nicaraguan lucas, and some gooney birds all smuggled in from Banana Land.

Who would’ve thought this little guy had it in him to jeapordize the season for himself and his teammates? UC Santa Cruz’s dreams of an MCLA lacrosse championship are over. His dreams of running for President of Banana Land? Not so much… Apparently they endorse this type of behavior.

 

Teammates were unavailable for comment

Looking remorseful and contemplating life in the slammer

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In other Banana-related news, Miss Strawberry and Miss Pear were spotted running down Main Street yesterday evening, screaming that a mysterious stranger exposed himself to them and asked if they wanted to “slip on his peel”. The culprit is still at large and considered extremely high in potassium.

About the author

Jeff Brunelle

Jeff Brunelle is the founder and CEO of Lacrosse All Stars. A west coast native and product of the MCLA, Jeff moved back East after college and truly fell in love with the game. He now spends every waking moment building LaxAllStars.com and Red Label Sports from our headquarters in Boise, Idaho. Follow Jeff on Twitter and Instagram.

8 Comments

  • youre all idiots

    Hey striding man, why dont you go stride off a cliff?

    Stop making stuff up about teams who are on their way to Nationals and have a very respectable program.

    None of the above article is true.
    You’ll realize this when you see are jerseys on the Nationals field in Denver.

    PEACEEEEEEE

  • I concur with sclax, the slugs are moving fast on the road to denver and their dreams of a national championship are still very likely to come true.

    That picture is from last year, the man in the slug outfit is not a lacrosse player.

    Eat A D, Striderman

  • I love it. The Onion couldn’t have done it better(Challenge!). You’ve revealed Sammy the Slug medicating his strained back from carrying the WCLL through Division II lacrosse. After much controversy in 2008 over a postponed game between Pepperdine and UCSC, Sammy sent HELLA Slugs to Malibu, CA to deliver the Waves an embarrassing beat down. This has only led to what can be described as a "Cop Out" by Pepperdine in 2009 with their retreat to the SLC and denial of both an away or home game against Northern WCLL Div. II rival UC Santa Cruz. If the SLC hadn’t HI-Jacked the WCLL Div. II automatic qualifier, it’d be Sammy and his Slug Life Crew bringing gold medals like Michael Phelps to the MCLA Championship in Denver this year. That’s the Official TRUTH! and no real Slug would miss spell "our." SCLAX is a fake.

Leave a Comment