Breaking News: UC Santa Cruz Banana Slugs Forfeit Season


The picture you’re about to see was sent to us late last night from an anonymous tipster. It’s disappointing to see proof of this kind of activity going on during the season – I’m glad I don’t have teammates like this. It’s a sad day for Banana Slugs around the country.


Won’t somebody please think of the children?
Word is this Slug got booted from the team after they raided his dorm room and found a huge stash of Banana-rama wacky tobbaco along with some uppers, downers, flim flams, whatzitdoodles, a garbage can of Nicaraguan lucas, and some gooney birds all smuggled in from Banana Land.

Who would’ve thought this little guy had it in him to jeapordize the season for himself and his teammates? UC Santa Cruz’s dreams of an MCLA lacrosse championship are over. His dreams of running for President of Banana Land? Not so much… Apparently they endorse this type of behavior.


Teammates were unavailable for comment

Looking remorseful and contemplating life in the slammer









In other Banana-related news, Miss Strawberry and Miss Pear were spotted running down Main Street yesterday evening, screaming that a mysterious stranger exposed himself to them and asked if they wanted to “slip on his peel”. The culprit is still at large and considered extremely high in potassium.

Previous articleMajor Stick Bend in Florida
Next articleJumbo Jack Reviews ‘Damages’ on FX
Jeff Brunelle
Founder of Lacrosse All Stars. A West Coast native and product of the MCLA, I moved back East after college where I truly fell in love with the game. I've dedicated my career to LaxAllStars since 2010, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I now live in my hometown of Boise, Idaho, with my wife Zoë, two dogs, and a baby girl expected to arrive around Championship Weekend this May. I'm a technologist at heart, I'm not into snow or the month of January, and one time I kind of stole a football from Gary Gait. Life is crazy busy, but it's worth it when you get to immerse yourself in the medicine of lacrosse every day. We are on a mission to Grow The Game® on a global scale by empowering storytelling by players, for players, and bridging the gap between lacrosse and the mainstream.


  1. youre all idiots

    Hey striding man, why dont you go stride off a cliff?

    Stop making stuff up about teams who are on their way to Nationals and have a very respectable program.

    None of the above article is true.
    You’ll realize this when you see are jerseys on the Nationals field in Denver.


  2. I concur with sclax, the slugs are moving fast on the road to denver and their dreams of a national championship are still very likely to come true.

    That picture is from last year, the man in the slug outfit is not a lacrosse player.

    Eat A D, Striderman

  3. I love it. The Onion couldn’t have done it better(Challenge!). You’ve revealed Sammy the Slug medicating his strained back from carrying the WCLL through Division II lacrosse. After much controversy in 2008 over a postponed game between Pepperdine and UCSC, Sammy sent HELLA Slugs to Malibu, CA to deliver the Waves an embarrassing beat down. This has only led to what can be described as a "Cop Out" by Pepperdine in 2009 with their retreat to the SLC and denial of both an away or home game against Northern WCLL Div. II rival UC Santa Cruz. If the SLC hadn’t HI-Jacked the WCLL Div. II automatic qualifier, it’d be Sammy and his Slug Life Crew bringing gold medals like Michael Phelps to the MCLA Championship in Denver this year. That’s the Official TRUTH! and no real Slug would miss spell "our." SCLAX is a fake.