Jerk Of The Week: Call Centers


In the first installment of this series, we took down a major corporation and defended the honor of the fastest game on two feet along with the kind people in a hamlet of Wisconsin.

This week we go international.

We live in a world where jet packs actually exist ( it’s true), 3-D television brings 10 feet tall blue aliens into your living room, and twittering means instant information flow at all times.

But I’m booking a simple flight to play some lax an get all Woozed up in Lake Tahoe next month and all the technology in the world couldn’t save me from the most evil incarnation of corporate dumassery since the pyramid scheme.

The call center.

For starters I want to make it clear that just like the kind people of La Crosse, Wisc, I have no beef with the inhabitants of that subcontinent stuck on Eurasia.

India is not the JOTW.

I could never have an issue with a place that brought Benny Lava into my life:

My issue is that in the year 2010 there should be a more customer friendly way to interact with other human beings in an exchange for goods and services.

All I wanted was two tickets from PDX to Reno (made a teensy bit complicated by two separate flights on the first leg of the trip) but what started as a simple phone call turned into a 3 day / 5 call marathon chat with “Bill” and “Anne” in which this conversation was repeated 6 or 7 times:

Bill” / “Anne“:  (over the din of a thousand other ringing phones and rapid talking) Please repeat your name and billing address, sir.

Me:   R-Y-A-N-C-R-A-V-E-N 1440 Country…

Bill / Anne:  Please repeat using Army radio speak and scream as loud as possible (or something to this effect)

Me: R as in red, Y as in yellow, A as in apple, N as in nancy…the number 1, the number 4

…oh please god just give me the sweet release of death

Long story short it took so many calls to sort out because Bill wrote down my email address and the last name of my lady friend  incorrectly.  Simple mistakes that took 4 follow up calls to straighten out.

When Bill had the audacity to ask me about my “customer experience” I laid into him with both barrels.

Bill was very sorry and offered a credit for my next flight as a sad attempt at making things right. But at least was a gesture and hey I feel like a POWERFUL MAN WHO MUST BE RESPECTED.

Annnnnnd then  Bill decided to put me on hold for another 15 mins and I whipped the phone across the room and cursed at the sky in a Hulk smash rage:

So for your terrible customer service and because I’m amazed you still even exist as a part of modern society I nominate the Call Center for this edition of the JOTW.

Come claim your video prize:

Want to nominate your own JOTW? Tell your story and call out the next jerk who needs to be set straight. It’s your responsibility to make the world a less jerkier place.

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