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LAS Late Night: Hosted By Connor Wilson’s Undershirt

17 - Published December 15, 2010 by in College, Gear, The Life

Dear Connor Wilson, Peter Tumbas, and anyone else who thinks sleeved undershirts should always be mandatory,

You East Coast elitists just don’t understand. West Coast & Florida players are different than you and your thirteen colony brethren. As you preach about same colored undershirts and how sleeves are always required, you are speaking before you fully understand the vast number of differences between yourself and laxers of the West Coast.

Let me break it down for you.

(Editor’s note: For the sake of the argument, we’re throwing Florida bros in the West Coast bucket throughout the rest of this article… if that’s what you want to call it.)

Exhibit A

Most West Coast lacrosse players have grown up wearing sleeveless shirts (i.e. tanks) on a regular basis. Whereas, East Coast players like you only started learning about tanks when a kid named Brantford wore one in a YouTube video that went viral, and then the Florida Gators brought them to market. (Side note: Rumor has it the Gators funded their entire 2010 season off those sales. Now they’ve taken over 412′s Facebook page.)

Con Bro Chill

Oh, and we can't forget about Con Bro Chill, the King of Tanks himself. Guess where Flowseidon is from?

Exhibit B

86% of college lacrosse players in California call this their dorm room:

beach party

Meanwhile, only .14% of East Coast laxers live near a beach year-round, and those of you that do always wear heavy sleeves at the beach in case the Montauk Monster comes ashore.

I’ve heard rumors of one laxer even wearing his arm guards while wakeboarding.

Exhibit C

West Coast players – many of which reside on the Cal Poly lacrosse team – breathe individuality. They enjoy being comfortable on the field, and as opposed to a Georgetown mentality, there’s nothing holding them back from wearing what they want to wear. They could really care less what an outsider thinks.

Whereas, almost every* player on the East Coast conforms and dresses like Chuck Bass.

*Alright, maybe that’s just the author of 412 Lax.

Exhibit D

Truthfully, players from the West just aren’t as in tune with the East Coast ways. For one, their coaches do not carry the same uniform values as those coaches at top D1 programs of the East. I know of many MCLA coaches who don’t want anything to do with team uniform choices, opting to throw the responsibilities on team captains.

UI Globetrotter Lacrosse Shorts

Not all coaches have the mental capacity to make their players dress up like the globetrotters in the fall! West Coasters can't color coordinate like that.

Conclusion

So you see, there truly are differences between you and them. Not everything is black and white. And in fact, if you’re not careful, someday you might see a lacrosse player try to pull off one yellow sleeve.

Beware, because the next thing you know they'll probably be stealing a laptop.

And Now, Some Advice For The Youngins…

White tees are NOT the answer.

Sleeves are NOT the answer.

Conforming is NOT the answer.

Giving a crap about what other people think is NOT the answer.

The answer is actually much more simple…

Work hard. Play your game. Wear whatever makes you feel good.

Marylin Manson did not become popular because he dressed like Willie Nelson. Willie Nelson did not become popular because he dressed like Elvis.

Who cares what Georgetown wears? A high school kid aspiring to play D1 ball? Sure. But a college student-athlete with nothing but focus on his own team’s national championship birth? Nope. Why on earth would he even have Georgetown on his mind to begin with? Why?

Guidelines were made to guide, not require. Rules were made to be broken. And in many cases, sleeves were made to be torn.

Hopefully, by the end of your collegiate career, you will have learned what it means to play lacrosse. It’s not about the undershirt.
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And The Winner Is…

Late last week we ran a quick contest for a Woozle pinny on the LAS Facebook page. The question we asked was wide open for creative answers, and I was tasked with picking the winner.

Woozle Pinnie Undershirt Contest

It was a very tough decision, but after reading through all the answers, I’ve picked SAM ELKIND for his creative, hilarious take on undershirt requirements. The truth is, Sam’s right. When it comes to style and gear, there are much more important things to focus on than an undershirt. Like making sure you have a good barber, for example.

(Editor’s note: Sam Elkind – Email your mailing address to info@lacrosseallstars.com and we’ll hook you up! Also, free stickers to anyone who can connect Lance Armstrong to this post.)

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