Abandon Hope And Your Computer, The End Is Nigh [Good Morning LaxNation!]


And now I saw a pale horse, and its rider’s name was Death. And there followed after him another horse whose rider’s name was Hell. They were given control of one-fourth of the earth, to kill with war and famine and disease and wild animals.

Book of Revelation or “what will happen when the internet breaks”


Four Horsemen of Apocalypse, by Viktor Vasnetsov. Painted in 1887

Take my advice: today might be a good day to shut down your computer, stock up on canned goods, and possibly go outside and play catch or something.  Out in LA they are holding the funeral for Michael Jackson and the nation waits with baited breath for the apocalypse.  Let’s call it Y2MJ because there is widespread speculation that Jackson is going to reach out of the grave and single-handedly destroy the internet with his zombie fingers as Vincent Price cackles.

No, this is not just another media driven hysterical Chicken Little-scenario caused by the 24/7 news cycle. Now move along and panic accordingly. Nothing to see here…(whistles and walks away).

“Today’s memorial service for Michael Jackson is expected to be the biggest event in the history of the internet,” the London Times exclaims. And others agree. The memorial service for the King of Pop, who died of cardiac arrest at the age of 50, will be live-streamed on CBS, Fox/Hulu, Facebook/CNN, and Myspace, and it’s expected to shatter both online viewership records and servers in the process.

The Atlantic

Will Michael Jackson Break the Internet? [The Atlantic]

Michael Jackson’s Memorial: The Biggest Web Event in History? [Mashable]

Jackson’s Body to Be Taken to Site of Service [The New York Times]