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And The #1 Lax Town Is…

6 - Published September 28, 2009 by in Grow The Game, Lifestyle

Editor’s note: Welcome Chris Mele to the LacrosseAllStars community. Chris is stoked to be a part of LAS and as a New York transplant, he finds himself in a unique position to become a student and champion of lacrosse’s westward expansion – a Manifest Destiny as it were.  He does not know karatee. But he does no ka-razy.

Lax Nation, USA?

Lax Nation, USA?

Denver?

Bullshit.

Bull-Shit.

Note to il.com editors – Amy Winehouse called. She wants her crazy back.

amy-winehouse1

Amy Winehouse voted Denver #1

I may not have played for Desko, Starsia or Petro. I don’t have a national championship ring, nor did I score a single goal in my college career, but having made my way through the High School ranks as an undersized long stick on Long Island’s Ward Melville Patriots, I can sure as shit tell you what it’s like to be raised in a lax town.

As a 7th grader, we were “coached” to provoke an altercation should we run into a Boat House Jacket sporting the Sachem “Flaming Arrow” (our rival in-county program) – while rocking the food court at the Smith Haven mall. Upstate summer camps were a requirement and not an option. I weaseled my way onto the field through two undefeated NY State Championship seasons. We were given paper extensions during county playoffs. We watched our friends go on to win national championships (Liam Banks) and captain professional squads (Chris Passavia). Most of the town dug lax Varsity Blues style.

I believe the same could be said about several other zip codes in Baltimore County, on Long Island, Upstate NY and even Virginia. Talk to anyone who attended West Genesee – many of them end up on the Syracuse roster – or hit up the pure bred long hairs from Gilman, Landon, McDonough or Boys Latin (I guess a lot of them recently lost their jobs?) and they will tell you the exact same thing.  Lax is sheriff ’round these parts.

So what up with the Denver selection? Well, I can tell you firsthand because I just moved here. Hound dogging a lax team to roll with was an absolute must.  Even without actual friends, bro-ing down with lax minded meat sticks will serve as defacto friendship. How different could it be than the old man lax I was playing back in New York?

Way – Fuggin – Different.

If this is a lax town, where are the one handed pick ups?

If these dudes know how to rock the practo penney, then why am I seeing old school Bo Jackson Brine Jerseys?

I’ve only seen significant helmet flow once, and it was accompanied by a dirt stache (ok, this is actually sweet).

Sport Helmet? Yup. (also a plus).

Fast break comin’ in hot? Nobody move.

Upper-dog rips? I’ll let you know when I see one.

In summation – I’m calling bullshit on Inside Lacrosse and the no talent ass clowns that decided to put Denver above both of the widely recognized East Coast lax mainstays (not to mention Dirty Jerz, Pennsylvania, the general state of Maryland and all of Popped Collar New England). If it’s such a great place for lacrosse, why can’t more of you knuckle heads ball?

In defense of the Denver lacrosse community, I did get SMOKED last weekend by a 120 lb mid-puberty adolescent from Arapahoe High School.

But I was hung over.

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