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Carla Was The Prom Queen

2 - Published January 7, 2010 by in College, The Life

Have’s and have not’s and debating who to root for tonight. But first here is Sir Sean Connery with some words of wisdom for the Tide and Horns :

John Mason: Your “best”! Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and (bleep) the prom queen.

Every level of sports has big fish and little fish… hammers and nails, Micheal’s and Fredo’s. Darwin must have loved big time sporting events because having a level playing field is a myth in the year 2010.

Tonight we celebrate as two of the “have’s” of college football play in the latest version of “Hey isn’t this more fun than an actual playoff!!! Look over there! Crystal football! Tradition! Confetti! Computers are involved! Shiny things!

The big boys of the BCS sure don’t like sharing despite the ridiculous fun a basketball-style playoff would be for 99.9% of the viewing public. Division 2 football has been doing it for years far away from the bright lights and big money of the BCS. Must be nice to sit on that throne, you fat cats.

Lets run down the big boys of every sport.  Some more dominant than others. Prices and participation may vary:

MLB: Yankees, Red Sox, (insert random lucky team in a down year)

NBA: Lakers, Celtics, (insert random team lucky enough to get transcendent talent…see MJ’s Bulls, Lebron’s Cavs and whoever tanks to get #1 pick John Wall next year. Trust me he’s a freak show.)

Coming soon to an NBA arena near you

NFL: Pittsburgh, New England, Indy…but pretty much every team is in the mix except the Raiders, Bills and Browns. Closest thing to real parity thanks to revenue sharing and a weak players union.

NHL: Red Wings, Avalance, Pengu…oh who am I kidding I’ll leave the NHL to Tumbas on 412

NCAA D1 Lax: Syracuse, Hopkins, Princeton

NCAA D2 Lax:  NY Tech, CW Post, LeMoyne

NCAA D3 Lax:  Salisbury Middlebury, Cortland St

MCLA D1: Michigan, BYU, Colorado State

The structure of some sports is more “fair” than others .(I’m looking at you Major League Baseball and the BCS) but forget about the injustice for one night and celebrate a fau-National Championship that is light on the “champion” but heavy on the pageantry and cash money.

It’s sure got ‘Bama fans riled up.

“Check this out…HIZMAN! INGRUM!… He won the Heisman. It wuudnt your poon tang quartaback who got it. It was our Ingrum.”

Oregon may be done-zo after getting Tressel’d in the Rose Bowl but at least I can brush up on my love of the Southlands. Yee-haw.

So who you got tonight? Predictions? I’ve already lost enough money on losing bets like Georgia Tech over Iowa so I have no clue what to expect.

Here’s a little cheat sheet for everyone who is still undecided.

Enjoy the game. Hopefully the internet can avoid making fun of blind band girls from Idaho this time around.

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