LAS Cheap Seats: The Only Sports Competition More Obscure than Lacrosse


Editors note: “The Cheap Seats” are your place for off-the-wall nonsense from the best and brightest LAS has to offer. Here is another gem from LBT.

We have all had them. A friend or teammate who is a little quirky and maybe you would even call them kind of nuts.  Nonetheless, they never cease to amaze you with their zany antics and crazy stories. These individuals live life in the fast lane and honestly you wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if they died young.

These real men of genius behave outside of the box purely for the reactions they get from friends, family, and strangers. I happen to have a few friends like this and one of them texted me a photo the other day. I mean this guy is just crazy, but in a hilarious sort of way. The stories I have about this kid, alone, could be turned into a 4 part series, but sadly, I don’t think the lovely editors at LAS would deem them PC enough.

Not the real picture he sent.Anyways, the other day my friend shot me a photo of himself sporting the manliest beard and moustache combo I think I had ever seen, and let me tell you, it was extraordinary. Especially, considering how vastly different he looked compared to his normal clean cut appearance. I mean this was a manly beard: it was red, bushy, scraggly, un-kept, pretty much all the facial features that turn the opposite sex off, and it was awesome. It got me thinking. He should have joined Team USA in the World Beard and Moustache Championships that recently took place in Anchorage, Alaska.

If you have never heard of the WBMC, but have occasionally thought that your beard growing skills could win competitions, my friends than you are in luck. Every year 300+ competitors from over 15 countries flock to show off their obsessively overgrown facial hair. Beard Team USA won this year’s competition with the top prize going to American David Traver for his beard that was stylized to resemble an Alaskan snowshoe. My buddy would be the perfect competitor to represent our national facial hair pride. He looks as though he has all of the physical, and more importantly, the mental requirements needed to really succeed in this event.

There’s a competition for everything these days so why can’t beards be competitive? For men (and some women) beards are a badge of honor. Men love to compare facial hair and those that can’t bemoan the fact that their attempts come in scraggly or patchy or not at all. We compare the fullness, the color, the length, the time it took to grow the beard, everything. I think what it comes down to is that facial hair is just really funny (even in this PC, feminized, “shave off all your hair like a creepy Ken doll“-loving society we all currently live in). Also, sometimes our beards and moustaches can used for good and not for evil (See Snidely Whiplash and Adam Morrison).

FEAR THE STACHEMoustaches vs Cancer is an event that members of the LaxAllStars community have participated in.  The goal is for you to grow a moustache and then upload a picture of your ‘stache once a week. People viewing the site then donate money for the best moustache and at the end of the event there is a party where participants show off their growth. What it really comes down to is that it is a fun and creative ways to use your facial hair to raise money for charities and cancer research. So maybe the next time your girlfriend complains about your scratchy un-kept beard you can tell her that it’s for charity and she better get used to it.

More on Moustaches vs. Cancer:

Kids Can’t Grow Mustaches and They Shouldn’t Have Cancer Either

We all know that a mustache is the gift that keeps on giving, by creating a more dignified and aesthetically appealing population. But now that killer ‘stache can do even more; it can help fight a killer. Who ever thought that your mustache, or if you are among the genetically whisker-challenged, your efforts in the field of mustachery could help kids with cancer? Well, now it can. Mustaches vs. Cancer is a two month mustache-a-thon where each participant solicits donations on behalf of their beautifully bristled upper-lip, in the end donating all the earnings to the pediatric department at Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center in New York City.

As one of the nation’s premier cancer centers, Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center (MSKCC) is committed to exceptional patient care, leading-edge research, and superb educational programs. The close collaboration between its physicians and scientists is one of the Center’s unique strengths. Such collaborations enable MSKCC to provide patients with the best care available today as they work to discover more effective strategies to prevent, control, and ultimately cure cancer in the future.

Click here for more information on the event and to learn how you can help.