In a world filled with political correctness and people biting their tongue it’s about time to stand up and call a spade a spade.
Jerks, malcontents, a-holes, “that guy”, triple u (for the Rome fans out there), degenerates, use whatever verbal parlance you prefer but we all know ’em when we see ’em.
Our first JOTW has been a thorn in the side of every lax nerd who ever tried to search online for information on the greatest sport on two feet.
Jerk Of The Week: Buick
Lets get straight to the point. Buick, you suck. You can start on the path to respectability by canceling that miscarriage of justice called the “LaCrosse”. Even Wikipedia calls out your questionable decision making:
“The name was inspired by a Buick concept car of the same name shown in 2000 and also used as a reference to the sport of lacrosse, seen as popular with a younger, more active demographic to which Buick sought to market. It was originally sold as Buick Allure in Canada because the French translation of LaCrosse means ‘self love’ (or ‘swindle’) in Québécois slang …it was once Buick’s best-selling vehicle in Canada.”
It’s enough that I get confused looking for lax news and end up reading about the town of La Crosse, Wisconsin, but I have no qualms with those fine cheese-happy people.
But when was the last time Buick made anything respectable? This company hasn’t been cool since the days of gas guzzling spaceship cars that Don Draper loved to drive.
Those were the good old days when it was cool to drink a highball while you fly down the road while blue smoke comes pouring out of the V-12 engine.
OK Buick, so you made sweet rides in the 50’s.
That was 60 years ago.
Most importantly whenever I set up a Google search or try to find the latest news and notes on my favorite lax games you and your crappy car take up valuable seconds of my day.
That is why Buick is the inaugural Jerk Of The Week. It’s been a long time coming and you deserve the honor.
Want to nominate your own JOTW? Tell your story and call out the next jerk who needs to be set straight by emailing firstname.lastname@example.org. It’s your responsibility to make the world a less jerkier place.
JOTW video prize o’ the week:
“We award you no points, and may god have mercy on your soul”
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