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Pre-Gaming With Pat: Ohio State

1 - Published November 29, 2011 by in College

Ok, so Pat Stansik is really pretty funny.  His videos are often lacrosse web hits and from what we have heard, his stand up is pretty darn solid.  Add in the fact that he played lax and he’s more than all right in our book.  But I have a somewhat serious question here:

HOW DID HE BECOME FUNNY?

Pat went to Michigan, where they hate Ohio State more than anything else in the world.  I’m pretty sure that hating Ohio isn’t ALL Michigan is known for (I think they have a D1 lax team too), but at the very least, I figured that this must mean that Michigan kids have tons of witty jokes and one-liners that all come at the expense of the Buckeyes.  And since Pat is one of the funnier ones, we figured this must have been how he originally cut his comedy teeth.  But you know what?

MICHIGAN STUDENTS DON’T KNOW ANY GOOD OSU JOKES!!!!!

Shocking, right?  I’m not pro-OSU, and I’m not pro-Michigan, but I am pro-humor, and I’m sorry, but the Wolverines simply don’t have that in large quantities.  Maybe OSU Bashing 101 needs to be a mandatory freshman class taught by Pat, because these jokes are just falling flat every time.  Maybe slow down on the solo cups and think about what you’re saying for one second… I don’t know, it could work, right?

Basically, Michigan, you can do better.  You can be funnier than this.  And you can wear way more ironic clothing.  Why wasn’t anyone wearing a lacrosse helmet with the cage ripped off?  Where were the yellow coveralls?  Why wasn’t anyone dressed up like a Wolverine?  All you need is a leather jacket, some hair gel and kitchen knives!  Painting wings on your head?  What is this, 1973?  ACCESSORIZE, son!  UMich students may have gotten a little too complacent with their fandom…  One girl had one blue and yellow striped overalls, which was pretty cool.  Ok, +1 to her.

I’m just saying if the best knock on Ohio you can come up with is that it’s the “worst state in the union”, you need to go back to the library, do some Seinfeld/Murphy/Chapelle research and get back to us.  You’re Michigan, the bar has been set high, and we expect funnier!

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