Welcome the another weekly edition of The Spoon Feed here on Lax All Stars. Because we just had a giant grassroots marketing campaign that attracted thousands of new readers, this might be a good time to remind everyone what to expect from the Feed. Ok, the “marketing” might have been code for covering half of Baltimore in our trendy LAS logo, but who doesn’t like stickers? Little kids, big kids, babies, dogs…they all love stickers. At least we didn’t alert homeland security or anything.
For the newbies: The Spoon Feed is a LAS network bulletin board of a site where our writers slap up anything and everything that catches their eye on the net. Dog wearing a snuggie? Throw it in! Is there a new Jersey Shore parody sweeping the nation? Hook it up, bro. Nothing is out of bounds on the Feed. Every Friday I close my eyes and arbitrarily pick out 5 of the best from the past week in a Pulitzer Prize winning re-cap.
Got something we need to see? Shoot an email at firstname.lastname@example.org and it will go up lickety split. Whether or not it makes the Friday countdown is another story.
Before we dish out the this weeks concoction, take a minute to read about Philadelphia 76er Sam Dalembert’s trip to his native Haiti between NBA games this week. Sports pales in comparison to suffering going on so close to our shores. The death toll is rising so fast that a final number may never be known and relief efforts are just starting to pick up. Take a minute to donate a few bucks to UNICEF or the Samuel Dalembert foundation. Our thoughts and prayers are with the people of Haiti.
Now lets dive in. Despite what this punk kid says, there certainly is a Spoon. That’s the truth.
Time to get fed.
#1 - Not everything on the Feed has to be uplifting and inspiring
Here are two examples:
Stay in school kids. And away from meth heads and people who want to eat you (or meth heads who want to eat you).
#2 – New Year’s resolution numero uno: learn to cook
This will be my first masterpiece: Bacon Popcorn | allrecipes.com
“This is a flavorful popcorn treat that makes your mouth water and disappears fast! If you toss the cooked popcorn in a paper bag, it helps to absorb any extra grease, and keeps kernels from falling to the floor. The leftovers make nice snacks for lunch boxes.”
5. Sometimes the headline says it all…
If you didn’t click on that link to learn more then you just don’t belong here with us in The Spoon Feed. Move along, grandma.
4. If The Shoe Fits | Club Trillion
Mark Titus writes from the end of the Ohio St basketbasketball team’s bench on his blog Club Trillion. If we can convince him to get interested in lax we might have our next star writer. Connor Wilson eat your heart out.
…there are times that having an undefined role on the team is more frustrating than trying to turn a door knob with lotion on your hands. On any given day at practice, I could be asked to play defense for two hours straight, let David Lighty continuously hit me with cheap shots, or have a conversation with Evan “The Villain” Turner (hard to say which one is the worst). During most practices, I basically just stay out of the way until we start doing shooting drills, but sometimes I’m called upon to do the dirty work. In a way, I’m like a doctor who’s on call, only instead of being interrupted to revive someone who’s gone into cardiac arrest, I’m interrupted to be David Lighty’s punching bag and watch as The Villain blames everything that goes wrong on me.
3. Hitler learns Leno is moving back to late night
There have been roughly 100,000 variations of this “Hitler learns…” meme and I’ve laughed every time. Nothing like a good Hitler joke I guess. This might be the best one yet.
Just in case you were wondering.
2. Come at me, bro!
Our love for all things Shore is well documented. Toddlers pretending to be The Situation and Snookie? That’s a lock to make the cut on Fridays.
1. Tie: “Lebron Raps” vs “Peyton’s Potty Mouth”
These two videos snuck in just under the deadline for this week’s Feed and I can’t pick. I’m leaving it up to you.
Because Peyton inspired me here you go sports fans: I like the J-E-T-S to cover the 7.5 spread but the Colts straight up. For the NFC Championship I’ll take the Vikes -3.5 and I’d also take the under if it stays around 53. Lead. Pipe. Lock.
Have a great weekend and enjoy every sandwich.
This only the beginning. Check out the rest of The Spoon Feed and see what else you missed this week.
Got a question or news tip? Want your team covered?
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