Fight the Pink, Episode I
These Woozles are throwing down a media blitz. Between the helmets on Facebook and Brunelle’s dye-job, and whatever this is, my internet is turning pink. And you don’t just go turning a man’s internet pink. It’s not right.
This naked aggression must not stand.
Given that this whole damn website is infested with these Pooh-Bear-Terrorists, it falls to me to fight back against the Woozle propaganda machine.
Woozles have a good head start so there’s much to account for, but we’ll start with sticks.
Now I’m no Connor Wilson (a.k.a. the Bob Ross of stick dying), but I too have fallen prey to the recent obsession with fancying up one’s spatch. This spring I gave it my first go and ended up with this thing:
A decent start I guess, but honestly it didn’t turn out like I wanted and after some time in the sun, the black turned purple. And the blue turned purple. And it now it’s just very purple.
I picked up my jock and tried again.
I wanted something a little more complicated and a little less purple. I started by taking an old E3 and cleaning the ever-living bejesus out of it (Scotch-Brite pads + GooGone + elbow grease = success).
While I had it naked, I took a nail file and smoothed out the plastic on all the sidewall holes to put less stress on my sidewall strings. You ever look close at your sidewall holes? Nearly every head I’ve ever had has had jagged plastic on the sidewall holes that acts like a big steak knife rubbing on your sidewall string. I recommend sanding that out.
Next step was to dye the sucker blue. I won’t bore you with the pictures of boiling dye, but here’s the result:
I also took some shooters and a plain white piece of Marc Mesh and dipped it in the blue dye for just a moment. Picked up some blue and didn’t lose any mesh butter. So far, so good.
Next, it was time to tape off the parts I didn’t want to turn black. Normally, I’d use electrical tape and burn it on for a clean seal. But since Scallywags is a nautically-themed club, I thought it’d be cool if the blue ended up looking a bit worn, like a ship’s hull. Luckily, I had an Elevation lax helmet decal color swatch (more on this next time!) made of one big vinyl sticker. I figured that the bigger, thicker material would seal just a little less evenly and give me the look I wanted. So I cut it up, placed it where I wanted it, and blew dry it on.
Next step: dye it black. Using 2 bottles of black liquid RIT, I still had to do it 3 times to get the stick black (as opposed to purple). I later found this was because I was removing the water from the heat before sticking in the E3. Next time I’ll just throw the stick in while the pot’s still on the burner.
Nevertheless, black is black. Time to peel off the stickers and string her up.
I was pretty proud of this until teammate Kevin “Rookie” Kaup threw this thing on Facebook:
About the author: Since Ghost of the Union ran out of eligibility, he spends his summers drinking and playing for Scallywag Lax and spends the rest of his time thinking about things that annoy him complaining about them on the internet. You shouldn’t encourage him.
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